Grey Hair, Don’t Care!

Hello lovelies!

I truly hope you’re all making the most of being home more, but whatever your situation I sincerely hope you’re all happy, healthy and staying creative!

But whilst we’re all sat here growing our hair out and doing our best not to reach for the kitchen scissors, I wanted to discuss what I feel is my biggest accessory!

Mainly because it makes me look like I’m a Lego Mini Figure.

Now I make it no secret that I’m only going grey, not only that but I never hid the fact that I’ve been going grey since the age of 21. Fair to say I’ve always been punctual!

I also make it no secret that I dye my hair and that I dye it my natural hair colour (there is a point to this, honest!) A lot of this has been purely for work purposes, as unfortunately with a lot of what I do it’s always been easier if my appearance looks consistently the same. So to keep it one slick overall colour has always seemed the easiest thing to do!

But let’s be honest now, during this lock down I have not once felt the urge to reach for the box dye (yes, I’m a box dye type-a-gal haha) and cover up my grey roots, instead (like many others) I’m letting it do its thing and I’m embracing it.

I’m now 31; and it is a known fact among my family that I am indeed greyer than my own dad (no shade)! You see back when I was 21 and I discovered not just my first grey hair but a cluster of them (clearly one didn’t want to be the first to the party so decided to bring friends), this was immensely difficult to cope with. Especially being around the time I was graduating university and I had this horrid feeling that I was aging quicker than everyone around me!

This was always made ten times more difficult when someone would point out “Oh my god, do you realise I can see 10 grey hairs just from where I’m standing!” Cue me, (insert sarcasm here) Geez thanks for that, nope I clearly had no idea… Now I hear you lovelies, you’re probably thinking along something of the lines of “kids can be so mean, can’t they?” However this was actually said by people that in theory were considered adults and yes adults can also be incredibly mean.

Needless to say Mr Lee, my wonderful partner has always been incredibly supportive and truly loves me for the person I am and feels I can rock anything… Unless I suddenly decide to grow out my fringe, then he’s told me something’s would be extremely wrong and I would require an intervention, haha! As he knows this is something I will never ever do! The bangs stay.

But truthfully it’s the confidence that I; myself have built up over the last few years that have allowed me to be fully comfortable with this change.

Over time I have come to love and embrace what I’ve been given, which is very thick, healthy hair… It just happens to be going grey! I’m going to be honest, I know this process for some might be incredibly stressful and you may be struggling with your confidence and if dying your hair makes feel confident and it brings back a sense of normality, then you do you hun!

I just count myself considerably lucky that I have hair and if going grey is all I have to worry about… Then bring it on!

I’m not saying I’ll never dye my hair again, haha! For certain scenarios there’ll no doubt come a time where I’ll have to cover my silver strands, but right now for the purposes of a cheeky selfie for the Instagram or a zoom chat with the besties I’m going with the “I am who I am” look… Oh, I feel a song coming on! I should quit while I’m ahead.

I digress! What I saying is, whenever the day arrives and I do go the whole hog; you’ll find me rocking my chic bob as per, applying my favourite red lipstick, styling with my retro eye-wear I’ll be good to go.

Just call me Dame Judi or Dame Helen… But minus the Dame part!  

(Side note: Please remember my lovelies, if you do decide on a radical change and happen to reach for the bread knife at this time, if your hair meets the requirements consider donating your locks!)

Bisous!

A Momentous Occasion

Happy Sunday lovelies- now hold on to your cup of tea, this post is going to be a mushy one.

Today I’m sending love and appreciation to all the mum’s, mam’s, mummy’s, mama’s, step-mum’s, grandma’s, granny’s, nan’s and nana’s out there.

To the mother’s that we are still lucky to have here with us and those that are sadly not with us anymore, you are constantly in our thoughts.

The ladies that are celebrating their first mother’s day and the ladies who are about to join motherhood!

Not forgetting all the wonderful dads out there who are also mum.

While we should celebrate these beautiful people every day, this day in particular is dedicated to you.

My mumsy is a truly magnificent person. She’s one of those who will not stand to see anyone stuck and has a duty of care towards everyone she meets; honestly her willingness to go above and beyond for people knows no bounds!

I think it’s fair to say that she’s been there for me through times where I’ve been at my lowest, even miles apart she’s helped me get through countless panic attacks just by being on the phone (she even sent me the loveliest care package, paper bags with inspirational messages written on them!) Through teenage bullying, job losses, rejection, anxiety, going to university, moving out of my family home, feeling like a failure and a whole lot more rejection! She’s been my rock through it all and I honestly cannot thank her enough for putting up with me (aka this theatrical, dramatic emotional mess).

But through all of the hardships, we’ve also had some pretty amazing successes! One of my favourites would be seeing Fleetwood Mac together (I know, right?) This dream finally came true in 2013 and singing Don’t Stop hand in hand with my mama I will cherish for years (upon years) to come. Then last year I experienced not only my first cruise but we had our first mother/daughter holiday exploring Scandinavia, ticking a few things off my imaginary list of things I’ve been desperate to do! We got to be ladies who lunch for an entire week and I absolutely loved it (can we start planning the next one yet?)

I know I’m waffling right now, but I have so much to thank her for (and if she’s reading this, I’m going to assume she’s already started welling up by now… Sorry!)

Even now, in my thirties, my mum has never once doubted my ability to follow my dreams no matter how wild and ‘out there’ they seem. She has always allowed me the freedom to express myself and to be a creative free spirit, which is why I sing at the top of my lungs, dance my heart out and wear exactly what I want to. She’s always championed me for being unique and different.

I owe her so much.

M’dears If you can’t be with the ones you love right now, whether it’s due to forces out of your control or (like my mum) unfortunately don’t live around the corner, if you haven’t already send a card, text, call, facetime, skype, even carrier pigeon! But if you miss somewhere dearly and they’re not with us anymore, you can always tell me what you’re what’s on your mind today and what you miss most about them- I’ll be more than happy to listen.

But please, tell them how grateful you are that they’re/were in your lives and that you love them.

Happy Mother’s Day x

Catch-up & A Coffee, with a side of NYC

Hello lovelies!

I’m so glad to be back (for good this time, like Take That…) Now do make sure you’re comfy and have just made a cup of tea, coffee, hot chocolate (go on, treat yourself)!

So we met again dearies! We’ve been here many times before haven’t we? Now normally I would go on a tangent (a long winded one, I might add) apologising for my absence. However, if any of you have seen my Instagram page/stories from the past month you’ll probably have a good idea why I’ve been a bit M.I.A. But those darlings that don’t know please let me share with you my wonderful news!

On our recent getaway to our favourite place in the entire world New York City, on a visit to the quaint and quirky Tarrytown and Sleepy Hollow, my wonderful partner Lee got down on one knee and proposed. Of course I said YES! It was absolutely beautiful; he picked the perfect spot that most definitely encapsulates us as a couple; somewhere that we’ll both share forever and we couldn’t be happier.

As you can fully imagine, I’ve been in a whirlwind ever since! I get to be a bride! (cue constant daydreaming…)

Before I get completely carried away and begin hyperventilating from all the excitement, I’m going to delve into our New York trip a little more over my next few blogs. Honestly I have so much to tell you all!

But for today I just wanted to have a little general catch-up with you.

So it’ll be my birthday in a week’s time and I’ll be 31. It may (or may not) surprise you but It’s not really something I’ve thought much about this year. I suppose it’s just one of those times where I’m kind of embracing it with open arms and seeing what happens in the year to come. Last year brought me face to face with a lot of realisations about myself, who I was and just how strong I’m capable of being (although I hadn’t realised most of this until early this year). I’m so different today from the person I was 6 months ago, I’m now a lot more aware of how certain things affect my mental state and can assess situations I find uncomfortable much more quickly and I’ve learnt how to deal with them much more effectively. But yet I’m still realising that a lot of the time I need to be my own cheerleader. This I’ve always found incredibly difficult and it’s always something I’ve known I need to work on. I just suck at it basically. I’m not one to champion myself and constantly wait for the approval of others, whenever I received feedback from tutors at university I got this note every single time and it’s one of the notes they gave me that they’re actually right about.

I’ve been trying not to bog myself down too much about it and luckily thanks to a visit to see my fantastical mum, many chats with my partner and the lovely Daffny (A Vintage Nerd), who reached out to me. I’ve since realised I’m not being stupid in the slightest and basically come to the conclusion that I need to give myself a bit more self-love.

Sounds simple when you put it like that, doesn’t it?

Although in the midst of all of this, I did have something truly wonderful happen the other week!

I was attending a drag competition a friend of mine was been competing in (their name is Anna Toni; they did absolutely incredible and made everyone including myself very proud). But before the competition began I was waiting at the cloakroom (this story has a point, bear with me) and as I hand in my coat I strike up a conversation with one of the lovelies behind the counter. They ask me if I’ve ever made youtube videos, in which I tell them that it was a while ago now but yes I used too but in a rash decision deleted all my content due to anxiety last year and refused to put myself on camera since. Turns out they knew exactly who I was and actually watched my videos (WHAT!) To that dear person, I just want to say the biggest thank you! You still have no idea quite how much your kindness made my day.

Since that moment, I have been thinking about the prospect of vlogging again… Maybe not everything, but certain events or conventions… Hmm maybe, even if it’s just for myself!

But do tell me, how are you all? What’s been happening in your lives lately?

If you’ve been having a bit of a rough week, please remember “be enough for yourself first, the rest of the world can wait”.

I Idoliza You!

Earlier this month I was completely overwhelmed with happiness (understatement of the century) when I got to see one of my idols the Barbra Streisand live in Hyde Park. Oh my lovelies, to be able to stand there hand in hand with my mum (aka the most important lady in my life) and watch (through all the tears) this goddess whom we have both looked up to for many years; it was quite simply a dream come true (as I’m sure it was for many of the others we were stood with!) It got me thinking about how important it is to have someone to look up to.

Personally for me, an idol is someone whom I look up to because of their talent, career, charisma and all-round presence.

Four people who I feel encompass all of these traits are (as mentioned) Babs, Lucille Ball, Liza Minnelli and of course, my mum. They’re ladies I’ve always known and can’t imagine my life without them. They influence a lot of what I do, how I dress and how I present myself to the world on a day to day basis (ask any of my friends or former colleagues… On second thought don’t!)

My mum is an incredibly strong-willed woman who continues to empower me every day and teaches me to never settle for less. She’s always taught me to be persistent, and even though the road to success maybe a bumpy one has never once deterred me from what I wanted to achieve in my life. I’ll always be eternally thankful for her and for introducing me to the other amazing ladies I look up too.

Liza has been an idol of mine for as long as I can remember. I fell in love with her performances in Stepping Out, Cabaret and Arthur (not to mention her collaborations with choreographer Bob Fosse) and knew I wanted to perform just like her; the energy and facial expressions she possessed had me hooked from day 1. She’s an utter powerhouse, but yet when she’s vulnerable it’s beautiful to watch. What makes my admiration for her even more worthwhile is when I was working last month, an absolute sweetie made a comment that I resembled like her without even knowing I was a fan. If only I had her voice and could move like her, that is! Is there anyone you’ve been told you look like and do you find it strange, or like me the biggest compliment!? What I’ve always loved about Liza is that she still adores her mother and the legacy she build, but Liza well and truly carved out her own legendary career! Believe me; watch her episode of Inside the actors studio with James Lipton and try your hardest not to fall in love with her infectious personality! (See my dedication to the woman below in an impromptu makeover I did yesterday…)

One thing all my idols have in common is: comedy.

If you’ve met me, you may think I’m a little quirky, off-beat and most definitely kooky (these traits I definitely got from my dear mama!) So I suppose it’s no surprise that I relate heavily to all of the quirkiness these ladies flourish with. Like Liza, Barbra and Lucille are comediennes in their own right and I live for comedy! If you’ve never watched an episode of I Love Lucy before, might I recommend Lucy does a TV commercial or watch Barbra in Funny Girl and I defy you not to not belly laugh at some point! I find that even when the TV is on mute their facial expressions alone can leave you in fits of giggles. But did you know that if it weren’t for Lucille Ball you wouldn’t have Star Trek? I know right! In addition to her amazing comedic talent, she was the first woman ever to run a major TV studio! I mean, I don’t know about you but I certainly find that inspiring (even where we are in 2019). Moving swiftly back on the topic of Babs! Now she can make me howl with laughter one minute, make me sob with her effortless voice the next and still have plenty of talent to spare directing, producing and starring in two of her movies (one of which is my mum’s absolute favourite!)

What I’m trying to say through all of the ramble is – these fantastical ladies push me to do better. They’ve gone through personal battles over time and chose to come out on top and I know that if they can do it- so can I. I love my idols and they’ll always remain a massive part of my life. Even if some are in the entertainment industry or unfortunately not with us anymore and will never know that I exist, I’ve found that they can still support me just as much as I support them.

Chinwag time! Who are your idol(s) and why do they inspire you??